Self Love & True Authenticity: The 3 Most Important Skills I Want to Teach My Daughter

3 min read

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Originally published in my Spark Joy Newsletter on February 15th, 2023

Self Love & True Authenticity: The 3 Most Important Skills I Want to Teach My Daughter

I believe that at the core of who we are is Pure Love. Do you?

In my experience, the best proof of this is in children. Raising my 6 month old daughter, I spend my days in awe of the pure love she's made of, and the all encompassing pure love I have for her. Becoming a mother has reaffirmed my mission to prioritize joy above all else and to practice loving myself the way I love her. Unequivocal. Unconditional. Pure Sparkly Love. 

In loving myself this way, I hope to teach my daughter how to love herself purely and wholeheartedly. To share the immense value of having an authentic and deeply meaningful relationship with yourself. To ultimately embrace, that her relationship with herself is the only one she’ll have for her entire life and that a loving relationship with yourself it’s more important than any other relationship she’ll have.

As someone who spent a good portion of my life defining love and who I was by the relationships I had with other people (usually significant others) and building my sense of identity and worthiness from those relationships— I long for my daughter to know that that is not the path to true love, self worth, or a life lived authentically.

I pray that she never feels like she has to change who she is to be liked or accepted, or make herself small to make someone else feel comfortable. That she will trust that she is enough and that she deserves to be seen, heard, and loved for exactly who she is. 

I want her to know this at 2 and at 10. When she’s a teenager and social pressure is all consuming. When she’s in her 20s striking out into the world on her own for the first time. When she’s 35 and life looks wildly different from what she imagined. I want her to trust that she has everything she needs inside of her to take the next right action, and stay true to herself. 

I want her to grow into the glorious spirit she’s meant to be without having to lose herself first. And if she does lose her way like so many of us do, that she learns from the wisdom of those experiences, and uses it as fuel to find her authentic self. And that she trusts herself to come home to herself, again. Loving exactly who she is every step of the way. 

I believe true authenticity is made up of three key parts, and they are the three most valuable emotional skills I hope to teach my daughter in her journey to live an authentic life. 

✨KNOW YOURSELF

✨TRUST YOURSELF

✨LOVE YOURSELF

Here’s my guide to The 3 Keys to True Authenticity 

✨KNOW YOURSELF

• Connecting deeply with your authentic self 
• Cultivating your authentic self with nourishing practices that bring you joy
• Being present with yourself, your feelings, and your experiences— especially when they’re challenging

✨TRUST YOURSELF

• Trust your resilience
• BELIEVE yourself, your feelings, and your experiences
• Trust your feelings and your innate wisdom
• Trust your capacity to navigate your experiences and challenges
• Trust you are enough, just as you are, simply by being YOU 

✨LOVE YOURSELF 

• Above all else love yourself; first and forever
• Love yourself through it, wherever you’re at, no matter what you’re going through
• Have compassion for yourself always, as much as you can
• Give yourself grace, then give yourself more
• Remember that in a world that wants you to believe you’re not enough, or that you must change to be worthy→ the pure act of loving yourself as you are is a freaking REVOLUTION